Truth in Immorality
by Lady Genjutsu
Summary: After spending a forbidden night together, Chris and Nash face complicated thoughts and emotions.


A/N: Why can't I seem to forget about these two characters?? This is easily the most adult thing I have ever written. I tend to shy away from writing stories involving sex, but I just got the inspiration to write this, so I did.

Truth in Immorality

Chris Lightfellow was now approaching the most awkward and dishonorable moment in her entire life.

She could feel it looming over her, as her breathing slowed and her sweat cooled. Reason was beginning to creep back into her brain, clearing away the haze of desire that had been previously reigning.

For months now, she had known that everything was leading up to this night. She felt helpless in fates web. For a while, she hated him for being the cause of her complex feeling and emotions. But eventually she realized he was just as tangled up in this as she was.

Up until now, the night itself had been easy. No thinking, no speaking, not a thought of the word "consequence".

Just acting. All that had existed was his body and hers. Just the heat that was felt between them as he wordlessly explored her with his eyes and hands before pressing his naked form against hers. There was nothing but his eyes on her, and how they were making each other feel. Only that moment of ineffable ecstacy and release mattered.

But now, it would get complicated. Now, feelings of shame and regret would take over.

For she had just made love with Nash Clovis.

She had her back to him for the moment, but eventually, once they caught their breath, one of them would have to act. After all, there wasn't that much time.

She felt his fingers lightly running down her damp and naked back, leaving a trail of goosebumps on her skin.

"Chris..." His voice was low and purposeful.

"I know," she replied.

"Know what?" he asked.

"That its time for you to leave," she replied.

"That may be so, my lady, but that's not what I was going to say." He sounded far more composed than she felt.

She couldn't bring herself to ask him to continue.

"Chris... Look at me."

She didn't want to. She now felt consumed by shame and regret. However, she had known all along she would have to face this moment, and so at his request she turned over on her other side so that she was face to face with whom had just been her lover.

She felt self-conscious, and kept the sheets of the bed pulled up over her chest. Nash however was barely covered past his hips, the trail of hair that started at his navel could be followed down until it reached a thicker patch of curls before disappearing beneath the sheets. Chris spent a few moments tearing her eyes from his exposed form to make them meet his gaze.

His eyes searched hers solemnly, and it was an expression she rarely saw on the man. In fact, he was not behaving at all as she vaguely expected he might by now. She had rather been expecting some witty, sarcasm-laced compliments closely followed by a hasty goodbye. She somehow thought that this to him was purely casual, carnal pleasure. Yet, as he looked at her now, she realized that she knew better.

It made it that much more difficult. He hadn't used her. He hadn't even seduced her, really. If anything, this was more her fault than his.

The thought of this caused the shame to burn, but she couldn't tear her eyes from his, not when he was looking at her like _that_.

"Why do you look so upset?" he asked.

"This should not have happened..." she replied in barely more than a whisper.

He raised an eyebrow, and finally some of his expected wit snuck back into his speech. "It wasn't that bad, was it? Felt pretty good for me... Didn't sound as though you went unsatisfied either-"

"Please, stop..." Chris closed her eyes.

"You feel that this was a mistake," Nash said, obliging Chris' requests to stay serious.

She nodded once. "Its wrong for so many reasons."

Nash brushed her face gently with his hand. "For many reasons, or just one?"

She wish he hadn't said that. They both knew what the real reason was, why did he have to mention it exclusively? But she wasn't going to say it, and she wasn't going to let him say it either. The one word describing Nash's marital status that caused a chain of other words that were adjectives for what he and Chris had done.

Scandalous. Adulterous. Undiluted, inexcusable infidelity.

A few moments passed in silence and Nash released a sigh. "Chris, the idea of right and wrong... Life is more complicated than that."

"That's what the malignant say."

"No," spoke Nash again, quietly but with conviction. "This was not a malignant act. Everything that we felt tonight with each other was pure."

"You're a liar, Nash."

Nash sat up, the sheets slipping off of him entirely. Chris felt a heat rushing back into her cheeks as he leaned over her, pulling the sheets gently and unresistingly off of her as well.

"Why?" she asked.

"I don't know. Why did you let me?"

"Because I...-"

"-Feel a certain emotion that will be far to painful and tragic should you put it into words," Nash finished for her. His eyes had been roaming her body, but now returned to her intense gaze. "I know, because I... I feel the same, Chris."

There was a long silence as Chris considered his words. What it came down to, was it had happened and it was done with. And Chris even knew, that if she had to do it again, it would have turned out the exact same.

She could see how Nash viewed it more clearly now. What existed between them was something indefinable and precious... Yet tonight was all they could ever give to it. In all its infidelity and immorality, it was still something very true.

And that would have to be enough to live with it.

"You should probably hurry..." Chris whispered finally.

Nash nodded and wordlessly rose from the bed and dressed. When he was done, he sat back down on the bed and held Chris' hand, looking into her eyes.

"Goodbye." Was all either of them said. Not much else could have been said, or needed to be said. It was time to part ways, for they had finished creating a precious memory of each other that they would carry secretly in their hearts for the rest of their lives.

Sealing the memory with one last lingering kiss, Nash left Brass castle forever.


End file.
